Fishing For Criminals?

So I took Hanix, my giant baby, for a walk today. Sported him in the Baby Bjorn carry pack thang my sister sent me. I frickin love carry packs for babies. The hands free thing is just a bonus. The real deal is that I can no longer carry my baby in my arms for any significant period of time without my arms going numb. I should probably start working out so I keep up with his weight gain.

Anyway, this post is not about my baby or my weak mom arms. This post is about police fishermen. As in: I walked down to the malecon (boardwalk thing), and the only people down there were two men fishing. They were each holding a coke bottle, around which they had wrapped some kind of wire or twine, to the ends of which were attached hooks, I assume. Coke bottle in one hand, they would swing the loose end of the wire laso-style in the air and then toss it out into the lake.

The funny part of this is that both men were police officers dressed in full uniform. Full uniform down here means they had big ol' rifles slung over their backs.

Oh how I wish I'd had my camera!

It just makes me wonder... were they on duty? I assume so, given their fancy getups and their rifles! So... were they bored and thought, "Hey, let's go see if there's any crime happening at the malecon. Plus we can pick up dinner." Or maybe, "Hey, partner, it's lame we haven't gotten to shoot anything all day, let's go catch some fish and then shoot 'em." Or perhaps, "The people in this town or so poor, we'll have better luck getting bribes from the fish in the lake."

Who knows? I certainly wasn't going to ask.

Less Poop In My Life

Out brief stint as pet owners has come to an end. While I was away, Goblin the Puppy got attacked by a bigger dog and ended up buried in the back yard.

No more cute puppy pics.

Baby Giant

This is my baby update. If you don't like babies, and stuff, don't bother.

So my baby is a giant.

He's four months old and weighs over 20 pounds - the average for an 11 or 12 month old baby (so say the Internets). How did he grow that much in so short a time?? He's not that chubby, just really long and ... can you call a baby "strapping"? You know, he's just big boned! Apparently he's over the 95th weight percentile. He dwarfs his 5 month old cousin.

And I think he's got super powers because he totally sits by himself and can support all of his weight when standing on his legs, though he needs help getting into that position and maintaining his balance. Kind of like a drunkard. Maybe that's not that crazy. What do I know about babies' physical development? Maybe every mama thinks her baby is growing crazy fast. What if I told you he were already running and doing back flips? Would you call me a dirty liar?

But the oddest thing is that he's growing one long, white hair out of the top of his head, right in the middle. It's ridiculous.

Ah, well, it's entertaining. Have I mention that San Juan is boring?

Today I got belly laughs out of him by doing the following hilarious activities: tickling him, blowing raspberries, singing nursery rhymes, banging a spoon on a pot, hanging laundry, getting peed on, and chopping an onion. I should be an entertainer, because apparently I'm a riot. (This is also a tip off of just how thrilling my life is these days.)

He has also learned to screech like I imagine a velociraptor might have screeched when expressing annoyance at its velociraptor buddy for having made off with the whole kill. He enjoys this new skill and uses it whenever boredom sets in. Or whenever he wants help getting onto his feet (to do his buoy dance.)

So that's my baby: a giant, screeching, wobbly, super-powered, bundle of cuteness with one long, white hair growing out his head. Makes a mama so proud!

I Heart Interacting With Government Agencies, Except Not Really

I've been getting lots of practice filling out forms and filing applications and running around government buildings which only allow me to bring in one (ONE!) diaper with my baby (thank you, US Consulate).

Throw this at ya:

Hernan's immigration paperwork

Hanix's Mexican paperwork (birth certificate, health card, etc.)

Hanix's American paperwork (passport, birth abroad certificate, etc.)

My paperwork to get a residency visa (including registering our marriage in Mexico)

Plus, hello! IRS wants to know why I didn't file taxes back in '03 or '04.

Fan. Tastic.

I didn't file back then because I was a student and was earning approximately, give or take, more or less, ballpark figure, rounded to the nearest dollar, about "jack".

Turns out they got it in their heads that I had earned my father's income, because he was still claiming me as a dependent back then. Let me assure you, one and all, that that was not the case. So, plus fees and fines and interest, they reckoned out a debt of more than 16,000 dollars.

And they've been withholding my 2008 refund.

Makes me so mad. I need that refund! I'm broke, damnit! I have no 16,000 US dollars to give up. Give me my measly refund so I can buy tortillas!

Jerks.

This all kind of came to a head right around Hanix's birth, but has been stewing ever since, what with Mexico's rapid mail system and all. Plus the IRS can't seem to figure out where I live even though I've thrice given them my address. Maybe they just don't want to pay the extra postage, so they just keep sending my mail to my folks' place.

I will say that it seems to be settling down now. They've agreed I didn't have to file for 2003, and for 2004 they're assessing me fees and fines and interest and spankings summing just under 300 US Dollars, which I also don't really have, but not in the same way I don't have 16,000. So I consider this a win.

And hopefully one of these days I'll be seeing my 2008 refund. Wish I could charge them interest on that. And late fees.

So tired of dealing with government agencies.

In Oregon

Here's my mini-update. I'm in Eugene with my fam. I'm pretty bummed that I didn't get to do my California tour and visit everyone in SC, MV, OAK, SF, etc. Since we pretty much just went from the US Consulate in GDL (to get Hanix's passport) to the airport I didn't have much of a chance to plan anything out. And then I was dependent on Hernan's in-laws for putting me up. My broke ass can't afford a rental car or a cell phone, and I didn't have much access to the internets, so I had a boohard time getting ahold of anyone. Boohard- yep I just made that up, but it's a good word I suggest you adopt (PRO). I didn't even call my brother!

So instead of my magical mystery tour of friends and food in California I was worried I'd end up having to spring for some shady Santa Cruz motel. So I jumped on a train and now I'm in Eugene. Ah well, at least we made it to the funeral.

It's not the trip I'd been hoping to make Dec. or Jan, which is almost certainly off the table now. But I am appreciating being back in the US.

I like flushing my TP. That's fun.

And I like drinking tap water - it's so clean and tasty! and won't give me hepatitis!

It smells so god damn good here - like trees and flowers instead of sewage and car exhaust.

Food Fantasia

I get to feel so smart using my complex English syntax.

I saw the ocean, and it was real pretty

I saw snow and tall trees

It's so quiet here without bullhorns.

Newspapers.

I just miss my friends. Dag nabbit. Boo hard. Well... next time , I s'pose.

Now it's time for a walk through the neighborhood. We're going to look for any blackberries that might have lingered.