The Hell Out Of Dodge

We're moving. We're going to try living in Sayulita, Nayarit for a month. We've rented a little tiny studio-style casita with a palapa (thatched) roof. If we find work, we'll stay. If not... I don't know what we'll do. We move July 1st.

My hopes are high. Friends. Jobs. Community. No more gang bangers pulling guns on my husband.

I'm excited that when we walk around Sayulita no one stares at us. No one pays us any attention. Actually, they're kind of rude, and I prefer that to nosy san juanecos who stare at me every time I step outside my house.

We'll have the beach! Even if we're too poor to afford a coffee or a meal in a restaurant, we can still have somewhere to go. We can sit in the sand and watch the waves, or the surfers, or the sunset. This is way more than there is to do in San Juan. Stupid San Juan.

Mango season. Four kilos for 20 pesos! This is helping my mango-a-day commitment.

Not living with the in-laws. While I think I'm going to miss some of my in-laws quite a lot, I am excited to finally have our own place again. I look forward to being able to operate on my own schedule (well, Hanix's, really) instead of everyone else's. Here, for example, no one eats lunch until the men come home from work (or drinking) and decide they're ready. This could be any time between 1:00 and 4:00. I think that's shitty, because I don't like being kept from my food, and I look forward to eating meals whenever I want. (Of course, without mother-in-law around I'll probably be eating a lot more cereal and a lot less of her good cooking. But we'll see. Maybe I'll surprise us.)

Of course, I'm scared about having no help whatsoever, since I don't know anyone there. Even though I'm with Hanix almost all the time, I do occasionally get a few minutes break here or there from a relative.

I'm scared we'll find no work and won't be able to afford the higher prices.

I'm scared Hernan or Hanix won't handle the heat or the humidity, and Hernan will decide to move back to San Juan.

After almost two years of having no friends, I'm scared that maybe I'm actually some kind of antisocial freak who can't connect with anyone, and I'll find myself in a bush, stalking some nice-looking couple with a toddler. They'll discover me and make a scene, and it will ruin all my chances of ever having friends again. Ever. I'll die soon thereafter from a loneliness explosion.

What I REALLY hope happens is that Hernan and I will both make friends, and some of those friends will even enjoy mixed interactions, you know, men AND women, hanging out TOGETHER. And maybe a few of them will even be atheists like us. And maybe a few of them will play board games. And maybe a few of them will have kids too, and Hanix can have play dates, and we'll swap child care sometimes. And maybe we'll get really great jobs. And maybe I'll win the lottery and take up surfing. And I'll become bff with dolphins and sea turtles. And when we walk to the plaza everyone will break out in song and dance and small children will throw ribbons and flowers in the air, and somehow everyone's wearing matching sequined outfits and headbands and is singing on key and the birds are singing and the street dogs play piccolos and a kindly gentleman offers us lemonade and the sun smiles at us all.

I'll let you know how it goes.