Folk Wisdom

When I was pregnaz down here I thought I'd heard the limit on folk wisdom, but then my son was born and I have since harvested a whole new crop.

I've already written about goblins and the evil eye. Here are some new snippets of advice. Inform yourself.

Beginning in pregnancy and continuing on into the first postpartum weeks, mothers should wear earplugs, particularly when leaving the house, to prevent air from entering their heads.

After the birth of her child, a mother must visit the church on her first excursion out of her house. If she does not (and, say, visits family first), she is scorning the grace of God and her child will suffer.

Until a new mother has visited the church to express her gratitude to God for the birth of her child, she may not eat any pork products. I'm not sure what happens to her or her child if she does. Chicken and beef, however, are A-Ok.

A newborn needs to have a marble bound to his bellybutton or it will never sink in. The child will be cursed forever with an "outie".

A mother must never drink water while in the act of breastfeeding. If she does, the water will pass directly through her to her infant and drown the baby. Presumably, the water triggers a physiological change, bypassing the woman's normal digestive system to flow directly from her mouth to her breasts. Somehow, the infant also undergoes an immediate change whereby the water then passes from the mouth to the lungs, rather than to the stomach.

And finally, if someone clips a newborn's fingernails, the child won't develop the ability to speak until a year or more later than it's taloned cousins.

Also, with regard to childrearing, it seems to be common knowledge down here that holding your baby too much will spoil it, so you should limit that kind of contact.

In other news, Hanix is doing well. He smiles all the time, enjoys watching telanovelas with his abuelita, and today learned to chortle.