I realize I should follow a fellow blogger's example and start using a label "rants". We all know I do plenty of that.
So here's my rant of the evening.
Men and women can't be friends. This may not be true across Mexico (I'm not claiming any expertise, here), but it sure seems true in San Traditional Juan Podunk Cosalá. It's not that I'm trying to cruise for man friends in particular, but I've been down here a whole craptastic year and don't have a single friend to speak of, save my BFF the Internet. Men go out drinking together, they go to pool parties (apparently!) and to play billiards (the other pool party). Hernan invites his 16 year old brother, but not ONE STINKING TIME have I ever been invited. Not even when I make statements like "I'm lonely as all hell and bored out of my frickin mind and I'd really like some company tonight. You think I could come along?" ... Nope.
Granted, Hernan is in a hard place. He always invited me along in the States to go out with his buddies, and they accepted that, and understood that I should be offered beer because I'm, apparently, one of those crazy loose women who imbibes on occasion (and when isn't there an occasion?) But once we got down here to Macho Land Hernan had to start navigating new cultural waters and I got the plank.
And, too, if he were to invite me I'm pretty certain his buddies would be uncomfortable and the evening wouldn't be much fun. Even when they come by the house I might get a "Buenas tardes" but that's about it.
So men go out and DO stuff, and the women stay in their houses and tend to their children, or, in my case, my child and my puppy.
I should respect cultural differences and blah, blah, blah, but I think it's sexist and jacked and staying in the house all the time is boring.
Gah!
OK, end rant.
I think I'm going to have to sit with this post for a while. I'm just not sure... at what point are cultural differences right to respect and come to understand, and when are they oppressive and right to resist and decry? I don't know. Certainly, I understand the need to learn to accept them for your own sanity and communal peace... but grrrrrrrr. I feel a lot of frustration imagining this situation, and I hope the man lucky enough to call himself your husband gets how this puts you in a difficult position...
ReplyDeleteGrrrr, I say.
hi, i found your blog through Amanda's....
ReplyDeleteanyway i just had to comment on this one because i am in the EXACT same place as you. i hate it. i've been living in mexico for over a year and a half and well.. we've moved a bit while i've been here but i still have no friends. i talk to the neighbor here and then but i dont really have anyone to go shopping with... go out to have a drink with.. stuff like that. it's so frustrating. but my husband. he's always with his friends who are also co-workers. they just hang out at work and drink and have a good time. sometimes he comes home late... all while i'm sitting at home... alone with my dog... every single day. sorry, i just wanted to get my little rant out cause i've been so frustrated lately and SO can't wait for my trip back to the states in a couple weeks.
Adelina. Thanks for commenting. I hope we can both figure out what to do about this! I'm sure we'll get there, but it sure is hard until we do.
ReplyDelete