So my point is that I'm lazy and tired and boring. Wait, that's a lame point. Uh, my point is that I put Hanix to sleep every night. But tonight I did not! (Not this time, anyway, he'll be up in two hours, and then every hour until morning...) Hernan finally stepped up and did it himself.
This, you might think, is a boring thing to post about, and you would be right, except that you're wrong. This is HUGE! This is GREAT! This is an event that warrants capital letters and exclamation points!
Hernan is rarely even around until after nine, and then doesn't usually help out much. In the past I've tried putting the task on him, but all that happened was he worked Hanix up into screams and tears and then handed him back to me saying "Can you give him some tittie", which kind of made me mad, but also laugh because it's just such a ridiculous thing to say. And since I hate hearing Hanix cry, I always took over.
But TONIGHT, most beautiful of all nights, I was busy teaching my brother-in-law English, which we're maybe going to start doing every night (we'll see), and Hernan really wanted to leave to go play pool and drink beer with his boyfriend, so he was motivated. And he did it! Bazam!
I try to understand that Hernan's come a long way from what he grew up with in terms of fatherhood. His father changed but one diaper in his life, while his wife was in labor with child two, and it involved the bedsheets and a whole lot of cursing, and his mother-in-law finished the job. I could write a hundred pages on what I think about machismo and parenting and housework and Mexican men who live with their mothers and his sneaky ways to get me to do his laundry for him and how hard women work and blah-de-blah, but I'm too lazy and tired and boring for that, so I'll just leave off here.
Still, this is huge. See... if he did it once he can do it again. This frees me up so that I can do other things, like
Let me know when we are going, girlfriend. My theory is there is something in the water that makes the "huevos" grow here and they get so huge that they can't get near enough to the sink to wash clothes or dishes. My husband will sit in bed all day and play on his computer, which is set up beside his side of the bed, while I cook and clean and wash and scrub, then bitch because it is not perfect. I am soooooo sick of machismo! And I doubt if you are lazy, boring or anything else, bet you just thought you were a wife/partner, not a slave/maid.
ReplyDeleteYeah, back in California I still did the majority of the housework (and worked way more hours too), but Hernan did his own laundry, cooked sometimes, and would even clean the bathroom on occasion. Since moving back to Mexico (and in with his mother) he forgot how to use a clothes hamper and has yet to take a plate to the kitchen. Sometimes I feel he's more my child than my husband, and that's not really the direction I want my romantic relationship to go in... Is that what they mean by "don't drink the water"?
ReplyDeleteUh-oh I am getting scared.. We are going to be living with his mother, father, and sister for a while. Over here we split every thing equally like taking care of the baby, I wash the clothes, (but he goes with me) he does cook- maybe a little more than me because our tastes are different (We live with his 2 cousins and everyone takes turns cooking- when i cook it is stuff like empanadas and things like that) I hope when we are at his mom's house they don't act like I am the worse wife because I don't do everything for him. Hey they need to come to the US for a while, get a full time job, and deal with all the things we have to deal with. That is something that I am scared about- that he will change, that it will be thought that my place in the house with the kids while he is out playing soccer, at dances, or doing whatever you do in the middle of no where. Naaaaa- he knows me better than that!
ReplyDeleteThis is why we didn't move in with family. I still do everything with the house because I don't work but when he gets off the kids are 1/2 and 1/2 this includes diapers feeding bathing and bedtime. My job is the house his is at the store and the kids are both of ours. And believe me this gal will stand for no less.
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