English Lessons

I’m punctual. If it appears I will arrive even a minute late I get nervous and grumpy and am likely to sprint ten city blocks to make it on time. If I’m too early, I’m liable to lurk somewhere nearby, in hiding, so that I can then appear just as the minute hand signals the appointed hour. I’m also very much a “man of his word”, minus the man part. That whole, “my word is my bond” “only as good as his word” business, unfortunately I take all that seriously. “So,” you might ask, “how’s living in Mexico working out for you then?” And then we all have a good laugh.

Slowly, I do think this whole “Mexican lifestyle thing” is chipping away at my neuroticism, but only slowly.

So when I agreed to teach a group of eight boys English lessons, I did know better. I knew that "I'll definitely come tomorrow" does not in any way mean that the speaker will come tomorrow. I won't call it lying, because I'm convinced Mexicans don't consider it lying. But there's a custom of assuring people of something that they know is not true. I accept it as a cultural difference, but even after all this time it can still drive me nuts.

"I'll definitely come by this afternoon."
"Yes, you can borrow my tools."
"Of course we'll be at your wedding. See you there!"

Sometimes these phrases mean what they appear to mean, but sometimes they mean something more like "I'm saying what I think you want to hear even though I have no intention whatsoever of coming over today/lending you my tools/attending your wedding."

This is nothing new, so I can't say it was a surprise that the eight boys, friends of my teenage brother-in-law, after convincing me to start group English classes, after negotiating the price and the time and the days, would just not show up. They probably did think they would come, but this is Mexico, and saying that you'll be somewhere at a certain time in no way means you'll be at said place at said time, or ever, for that matter.

Monday, three of the boys did actually show up, which surprised Hernan. They came twenty minutes late, but if they had shown up on time I wouldn’t have been ready, because Hernan wasn’t home yet to watch Hanix, even though he promised to be home an hour earlier. See, Hernan is Mexican too.

And Tuesday and Wednesday no one showed.

Where I get caught is that I keep running into these guys during the day, and they tell me over and over again “Tonight! We’ll be there!” and “Seven o’clock, right? I’ll see you then!” And then no one shows. I can’t say I don’t know better, but I am who I am, and if you tell me you’re coming at seven I’ll be running around at six thirty making sure the house is clean and I’ve got snacks ready and Hanix is fed and diapered and asleep. Basically, I’m neurotic and crazy and uptight and not yet operating on Mexican Time.


Just now on the street one of the guys passed me in a truck and shouted as he drove by “I’ll see you tonight, Teach!”

Oh well. That's Mexico.